My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
