meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
