Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Everyone says I win the strip club
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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