You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
