I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
