do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
