life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
