your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize