cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
