Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize