do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
