i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
