Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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