i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
