Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Randomize
