Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
