I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
