your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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