Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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