Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
