It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
false alarm, still single
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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