But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm drive I can fine osifer
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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