I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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