oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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