you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i drank out of a bidet.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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