Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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