Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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