Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
