We're facebook friends in real life
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
