everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
