I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
