So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Even my vagina gasped.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
