I will die if light touches me.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
