So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
