He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
This is my gift to your gina
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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