There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I got inside last night via doggy door
We need to get me chipped asap
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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