my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
