we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
