yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
