so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
