how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
