Plan B is the new Plan A
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
you had me at cake vodka
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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