May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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