My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
