guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
