Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you win again, gameday.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize