i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
