i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize