rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
It's just like the Real World with babies
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
