i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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