I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
