i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize