So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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