I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
My vagina is officially offended.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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