I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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