when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
