I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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