are you still at the devil's house?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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