I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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