Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
