my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
