If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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