The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
