I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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