I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
My dick has a subreddit
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
